If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
