Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
