You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
