the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
