Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
