I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
