I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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