We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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