Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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