what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How's work?
Spinning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
