I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
