Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
