well I can't set my house on fire every night
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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