Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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