I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
