i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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