Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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