Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
