there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
