I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
