I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
