I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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