I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You have to summon your inner elephant
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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