my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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