I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
