Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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