you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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