he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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