the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
