so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
