im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
