Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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