No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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