Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
