she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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