apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
