the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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