I bet he comes in French.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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