So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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