Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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