My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
