Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
