so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
should my penis look like a turkey
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
