that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Found your dick twin last night
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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