Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
