i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
