i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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