She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
