Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
