at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
