I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
